VV Lama Tenam’s Talk on June 9, 2019 at Palpung Lungtok Choeling, San Jose, CA, USA
Upon opening the speech, Lama Tenam shared that he decided to give the talk on his cancer journey upon numerous requests from people at different times. So with his good intentions and to encourage people who are currently interacting with cancer, he wanted to use this opportunity to properly share everything in detail.
It all started at the end of 2013 when he visited California for activities, he got some small infections on the tongue. He was treated with antibiotics by a local doctor and the problem went away in about two weeks. Travel went on and when he arrived in Houston, his tongue nearly doubled in size and there was some blood. Biopsy and report confirmed it to be stage 4 cancer and he was told he had only 6 months to live.
Lama Tenam stated that normally when people hear cancer, they immediately take it negatively. He said there were two reasons he didn’t act negatively. The first reason he called it the blessing of stupidity. He thought there are so many sicknesses and cancer is one of them so he didn’t take it seriously. By not knowing much of what cancer is and without much thought, he didn’t get scared. However, the most turning point for him from day one was one essential teaching that Guru Vajradhara Chamgon Kenting Tai Situpa repeatedly taught in public. When negative condition comes to life, normally people say, “Why me?” People come out with many excuses but never accept it. Guru Vajradhara says that is a very wrong attitude. Instead of “why me”, we should say “why not me?” Guru Vajradhara also points out that when we say “why me,” we are indirectly saying “why not others?” Then that is a very bad concept so never do that. Lama Tenam always keeps this teaching as the core by heart. So when he heard that he had stage 4 cancer and 6 months of life left, he was not scared. He accepted it happily. By the blessing of Guru, he perceived that the karma ripened at the time in this life when he knew the essence of dharma so he has no hesitation to accept it happily and apply the teaching towards it.
Upon turning the concept to accept negative condition with positive attitude, the next thing Lama Tenam shared is that we should appreciate all the conditions we have. Speaking of his background story, he is a monk with no family, no relatives and nothing. Holding Nepalese passport as a tourist in America back then, there seemed to have no way for him to be treated. Yet somehow all conditions were pulled together perfectly. He didn’t go to Houston for cancer. He went there out of genuine care for another dharma brother but ended up being at the best hospital for the type of his cancer. Then a couple he met over a lunch 10 years ago learned about his situation and the husband happened to be a doctor in that hospital. Through that connection, hope began to look good for him to be treated there. Next came the problems of expenses and finding the best doctors. By the blessing of Guru Vajradhara, he got all necessary support. Also by the blessing of the great masters, he got the priority to be treated. Through the connection of the doctor friend who identified the best doctors for surgery, for chemo, for radiation, etc, his medical team were lined up. As a nobody, no family, no financial means but stage 4 cancer with 6 months of life time, yet blessing is so much, he ended up being at the best place, best condition and best doctors. Everything came together perfectly. Thus, this cancer experience gave him the opportunity to recognize the value of things that we have to appreciate what we have. He dedicated the ability to see such value is through dharma and Guru Vajradhara.
Lama Tenam shared that he was prescribed the highest dosage for chemo treatment due to the seriousness of his condition. When he was at the hospital, he saw many people upon hearing from their doctors that they need chemo treatment, their face changed. They could be at stage 1 or 2 but upon hearing chemo, it’s as of they immediately reached stage 4. Lama Tenam feels one’s negative reaction and acceptance could contribute to more side effects. For him, he was told about the side effects of chemo but he had the mindset that chemo is to help him, not to harm him so from first round he didn’t experience any single side effect. In that journey he also learned a lot that the power of mind and the attitude made such a big difference. He said with negative attitude, people are giving themselves negative treatment already. In that case even with the positive treatment, results can turn negative.
When Lama Tenam went for chemo therapy, he went happily because no one would disturb him. He would have his bed setup straight so he could sit up and did his prayer session, normally took two hours. During those days, he recited a lot of Medicine Buddha mantras. He had the mindset that chemo is the blessing of the Buddha. Nurses came to perform chemo and he thought that was Buddha Medicine. During that time, he really thought the doctors and nurses were part and parcel of the manifestation of Buddha Medicine. He learned that if we have correct views towards the people who treat us, things would turn well. With this kind of view, the hospital became a temple to him. During his chemo session, he always dedicated sincerely for all patients going through the same chemo treatment to have positive attitude. He shared that if healthy attitude is there, even there might be some side effect, it will be less painful due to the power of mind.
Prior to his operation, the dentist had to come first to pull out his unhealthy teeth. Luckily he had only one on each side. Next came another doctor to install a feeding tube to his abdominal area. The main surgery took about 10 hours. Afterwards, the fourth doctor took a part of the flesh from his arm for the tongue reconstruction. He was warned ahead of the operation that it was a very difficult reconstruction because there were lots of nerves in the tongue area so they might have to try and try if not lucky. By the blessing, reconstruction went well in one go. The doctor also warned him that there was a 75% or so chance that he would lose his voice for the rest of his life. Again, by the blessing, he is here today delivering a talk. Lama Tenam shared that his doctors were also surprised by the way he handled everything. He told the doctors it’s by blessings. First they couldn’t understand and asked questions but now the doctors are believers.
Our attitude can change a lot around us. Lama Tenam shared that we should show positive attitude towards our helpers, doctors, nurses and even patients in the surroundings. The positive attitude affects and makes a big difference. If our attitude is always positive and healthy to our helpers, they will be happy to help us. Instead of complaining or acting miserably, if we can apply positive attitude to our family, doctors and nurses, then they will be happy and in turn, we will be happy as well.
Lama Tenam then shared how he determined to become disciplined in life such as with food, exercise, etc upon this incidence. If we want quality of life, we should learn about it and apply the healthy habitual pattern of eating and movement in our daily basis. That’s what changed him physically and mentally.
To conclude his speech, Lama Tenam reiterated the three main points leading to the path of victory. For any unfortunate journey we face in our lives, we shall
- accept positively: It is not brainwashing. It’s reality. Not only cancer, whatever happens in our life, even family problems
- continue the journey with right concept and right habits
- maintain our discipline of life and quality of life
Lastly, Lama Tenam dedicated the credit of all his positive journeys in life to Lord Buddha and that Lord Buddha’s teachings continue to now for him to receive is because of his Guru Vajradhara Chamgon Kenting Tai Situpa. When he looked at all the good connections and the kindness from each individual who took part in his journey, they all tracked down to the source that is his Guru Vajradhara Chamgon Kenting Tai Situpa. Everything is there and possible because of the blessing of his Guru. “If no Guru, who am I,” said Lama Tenam.
Lama Tenam concluded his talk by a simple dedication of Mahamudra Aspiration Prayer with his pure heart to all the Gurus, specially his Guru Vajradhara Chamgon Kenting Tai Situpa, and to every individual involved in his life. May all, particularly the cancer patients at this current time, rejoice the blessings of all enlightened ones. Whatever positivities there are, may they benefit everyone and may anyone interested learn something from his journey.